He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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