you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Randomize
