There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
