you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Randomize
