What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
