So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Girls should come with a carfax report
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
So squirting runs in the family.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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