She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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