I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
