I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
