we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
