John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
