I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
