if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
