the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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