Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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