none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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