So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
