Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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