her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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