Sry I called you an 8
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
where are my eyebrows?
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