This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
