he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
