we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
