very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
