His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
