16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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