Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
