my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
