He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
found the other keg... it's in the tree
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
