i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
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