I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
