Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
