How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
This gyro tastes like lonliness
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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