I'm sorry my penis didn't work
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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