thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
