So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
