Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
