i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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