Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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