I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
