O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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