Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
