Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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