well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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