apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
All the doctor said was why
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
