That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
