I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
