My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
