Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
