Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
